When you come to tarot coaching you may have a general area of your life you would like guidance in such as your relationships, work or business, your home or your personal growth and spiritual development. These areas of your life are often represented by the 4 main suits of the tarot.
Use this to help guide the area of your life you would like the cards to help you explore. To deepen the reading even more it can be helpful to talk about what the current issue and situation is in order to phrase the question right so you can get the most accurate and realistic answer to the problem from the cards.
On the other hand you may come with a yes or no question. For example. Is my relationship destined to end? Or is my business going to fail? These absolutist questions which are seeking a yes or no answer do not give a realistic assessment of the situation and that work and relationships, for example, are actually more nuanced and complex than that.
Let’s look at some examples that will help you frame your question.
Relationships
How can I move forward in this toxic and controlling relationship where I am financially limited and trapped?
This question is a good example of something more specific that gives greater context and understanding of your situation and empowers you to see options and moving forward that the cards can be more easily applied to. The cards are going to be more generous with meanings and options than a simple – will my relationship end? The better you know the situation the more accurate a question can be presented and the greater help the cards can give you.
What is in my highest interests at the moment in regards to relationships and whether getting back with my ex is the right thing to do?
This question is far more empowering and shows the client is open to other options. This question is an open question and allows more potential trajectories including the most important of the client’s relationship with themselves that may need to be prioritised before a more successful relationship with an ‘other’ can take place. This is where tarot coaching can surprise a client because sometimes the cards will try to help a client see that they need to be on their own for a while to develop a deeper connection with their own Self. Sometimes relationships are unhealthy transactions of selfish needs like security, wealth, home, children, sex, status with the partner and so on. Looking for security and peace of mind from external objects is not self-actualisation – it is actually a betrayal of one’s own higher self. Independence and self-worth is the key before a relationship can really work for the higher good of the couple and the potential children that can come from that. Some people come to tarot because they want someone else to make them happy and this could be a recipe for disaster that they may need to learn the hard way because they often end up with narcissists who reflect back some of their own narcissism. For others they end up with a narcissist because they are too trusting and idealistic and sometimes a mix of the two.
Another issue that needs to be considered in relationship exploration are the kinds of relationships that the client has had in the past such as abusive and controlling ones. Sometimes the cards will tell the client about these past relationships because they are still influencing them in their current ones and that some trauma work needs to be done in order to heal them and transform the current relationships. Sometimes it isn’t other people sabotaging our relationships but ourselves and the cards can tell us that.
In relationship spreads we have to be responsible and take ownership of our own behaviours, not just focus on the ‘other’ person.
Business and Career
If we are stuck in our business plan and moving forward or not sure how to grow a business in a particular direction the focus of the question is not necessarily on something ‘outside’ of you that you wish to connect with but instead a block that is occurring within. The more we ‘think’ about something the more confused or overwhelmed we may feel. Therefore the cards want to help you find that space within to connect to your inner creativity and intuition and empower you with inner guidance and wisdom from your ‘higher self’. One way of achieving this is that the cards will point to strategies and techniques you can utilise in order to access the way forward for the business and that will be through relaxation and meditation, creative visualisation and affirmation, often provided in the Moon or High Priestess. Our business and work life is a reflection of who we are on the inside – are we motivated to help others or seek wealth and status for ourselves? If the first one then we are motivated well. If we are selfishly seeking outcomes then business and career development is going to be blocked. Agendas are key in business and career.
An example of two questions framed in this way might be:
What do I need to do to move forward in this moment of stuckness in my business?
What can I do to help my business move forward so it can meet the needs of its service users and customers?
These questions are empowering because they allow the client to claim empowerment over their business and relationships and not come towards the cards with a feeling of limitation and powerlessness.
Spiritual Development and Growth
A client may come to tarot because they feel stuck in their spiritual development and growth. They may be rather general in this issue and may be worth considering something more specific like:
What obstacles do I need to get over in order to progress my spiritual development and enhance my meditation life better and deeper? Will it help my business and relationships development as well?
This provides some important context and focus for the reading because we are looking at an inner and outer reality of the client – their inner meditation and relationship with spirit and their outer business life and relationships. The other key word in this question is the word ‘obstacles’. The cards have greater scope for helping the client pinpoint where the ‘block’ is. Once that is highlighted in the cards then the client has a better idea of what they wish to work through.
These questions are all empowering questions and aim to help the client see themselves as ‘activating’ and ‘creative’ in their life. As I reflect on this article another issue stands out for me. It is essential for the client to come to their tarot coaching with a willingness and openness to talk about their current life situation and how the past has shaped their present and the kind of future they want to have for themselves. The relationship between the tarot coach and the client is one to help the client gain a deeper insight into their present life. It is impossible for the cards to tell the coach everything that has happened and is happening to them. There is a social myth that tarot coaches know everything. We are not omniscient. We are not all-knowing and a few cards placed in a spread cannot reflect back everything about a human life. The cards are going to help you address some very specific issues and influences in your life.
A client needs to come to tarot coaching willing to talk and have a conversation about their presenting situation. In this way the tarot coach can help you identify the obstacles in your life and ways forward to overcome them with resilience, determination and courage.
If a client leaves a session feeling empowered, more aware of the situation and the forces around them and has some idea of potential trajectories forward then they are empowered in their life path and the tarot coaching has served them well.
